As humans, we are social creatures and can’t live without the help of other people. At school we have friends that we talk with, play with, and communicate with them. But the thing is, sometimes we don’t really know what they are suffering deep inside. Today I will explain on how to help your friends going through their mental problems.
Sometimes as a friend it is hard to distinguish how your friend is downhearted, as they really don’t express their feelings to their own friend which can be bad if you can’t really tell. You should know that it is hard for them as they can feel insecure in telling their burden to a friend too.
To really know if your friend is feeling down, you can check for changes of their behaviour. Sometimes they will act less interested in your conversations, not spending time with you anymore and not talking, and even feel agitated or uncomfortable. They can also act hopeless or worthless or can even think negatively. Sometimes they just feel like they want to be left alone as they don’t really have anyone to talk to. To be honest if you have friends like this, they either feel scared to talk to you of their problems or they just bottle it up and move on which is bad. As a friend you should know when they are feeling sad so you could help them.
Being there for your friends can make a big difference for their mental health, but you should know how to help your friend. You can’t just go and try to comfort in your liking. To start, you should ask your friend “hey, are you okay?”. This simple yet deepening message really helps your friend to know that someone actually cares for them. You should start a small conversation and talk lightly, asking how he is feeling and listen to him. You can research about your friend’s personality so that you could adapt on how to communicate better with them, offering appropriate support and respect boundaries
After doing small talk with your friend, there are some tips to help your friend better. Listening without judging is an important matter when talking with your friend. Let them express their feelings and thoughts without interrupting or offering biased advice. Give them a calm environment for them to talk about it without disrupting their responses. It’s important for them to talk and express it so that you can actually understand their story and not judge them so fast. Remember, being there to listen can be really comforting to them.
Comforting a friend really means a lot to them, but you still need to remember that it’s important for them to seek professional help if needed. We never know how troubled or distressed they can be. You can probably help by offering them to find a therapist or counsellors.
Mental problems are a big thing and quite the challenge to tackle. Problem is, not many people know how to deal with it or even help others with it. You should understand and learn to be able to provide better support to your friend. Educate yourself about their specific condition, its symptoms, and their potential treatments. This knowledge will help you understand more about their symptoms and give more informed support. It never hurts to learn about something new as this can really help anyone that is suffering through.
Mental health struggles can often lead to feelings of isolation that in turn could lead to a stressful situation or depression. You will be detached from your surrounding as if everything around you are your enemy, they just don’t understand what you are experiencing.
Sometimes, you just have to check on them regularly. Maybe you just finished your work and have free time or are at the train station, ask them if they’re okay and alright. Through texting, video calling, or face to face talk as long as you’ve already checked on them. Checking on them regularly just shows how much you genuinely care for them as a friend. Consistency is key as your presence already means a lot to them. You just have to be there for them frequently.
Every person’s journey is different. It’s essential to let your friend choose the pace they want to be. Don’t rush them as it’s important to let them express themselves. Forcing them to talk about sensitive topics may make them feel uncomfortable and may make them not want to express their feelings. Take it slow, let them talk at their own pace, don’t force them. Show your patience and empathy to let them know they’re comfortable in sharing. Remember, their mental journey is personal, and respecting boundaries builds trust and shows your understanding.
The term trust means also you need to keep their stories with you, and not to share it with others. It is sometimes sensitive and not easy for some people to understand. Your problems may seem small to your other colleagues, but to those having mental problems it is a big issue. So aligning your thought and being empathy and not judgement would serve as the key to approach them too.
To be honest, I’ve experienced the same thing. Feeling stressed out, low spirited, having anxiety because I’ve had my own personal problems. But instead of expressing my feelings, I decided to suck it up and keep it to myself. I gaslighted myself saying “Nobody would care about you”, “Your friends won’t help you”, “I should just deal with this myself”, “I’ll just pretend that I’m fine” and more hurtful sentences you wouldn’t think you could come up with easily.
I kept doing this for years and years, keeping it to myself and bottling it up until I’ve grown with it. In the end after enduring this for years, I’ve somehow created a different personality between myself and everyone else. I would act bizarrely with my friends yet questioning my life personally, but it never helped. That feeling of restlessness that keeps you awake till midnight, that burden you have to carry every time everywhere, acting crazy to show that you’re alright, it won’t help. It won’t help at all.
Keeping a double face just to show you’re alright isn’t good. Yet I did that, I kept it that way from elementary school till now. All those things made me question my sanity. Every day I talk to myself and kept overthinking because I never felt comfortable talking about my feelings to a friend. And it just leads me to sadness, anxiety, stress, you name it! It took me a really long way to heal. Slowly but surely, I’ve built up my confidence, think positively, and really let it all out.
I realised that I have friends I can actually talk to, letting it all out, and someone I am comfortable with. You just need to trust your friends. It may take a very long time and a lot of effort to go through your mental problem but I’m sure that in the end it will turn out great.
Supporting a friend with mental health challenges involves empathy, patience, and consistent effort. Remember, you’re not expected to have all the answers, and it’s okay to feel uncertain about how to help. Your role isn’t to fix their problems but to be a comforting presence and a source of support. By being a compassionate listener, encouraging professional help, and staying connected, you can positively impact their journey toward healing process. Equally important, don’t forget to care for yourself in the process. Together, you can navigate this challenging time and build resilience that strengthens your friendship.